


Of Monsters and Men

by Roses9



Series: Life in the Windy City - One Chicago One Shots [4]
Category: Chicago PD
Genre: -Ish, Angst, Chicago PD - Freeform, Emotional Whump, Hurt, Jay whump, M/M, One Chicago - Freeform, Sexual Abuse, Whump, case-fic, not graphic though
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-16
Updated: 2020-10-16
Packaged: 2021-03-08 23:07:28
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,162
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27044737
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Roses9/pseuds/Roses9
Summary: “He wondered why he killed them. Had they wanted to talk, reach out to the police. Did they know about him? How he was the first. How it was his cowardice that doomed them, that made them victims to the same hell he had endured.He was a monster. More of a monster than the man who started this torture.”In which a case unearths truths a detective would rather forget.*One-Shot*
Series: Life in the Windy City - One Chicago One Shots [4]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1920565
Comments: 6
Kudos: 49





	Of Monsters and Men

**Author's Note:**

> Hey guys! 
> 
> So this one has been sitting in my oneshot half-written folder for quite some time. It treats a topic that might be triggering to some so please be advised. We are dealing with sexual abuse in this oneshot and if that triggers you in any way please do not read (not because I don’t want you to, but your mental health always comes first.) This was inspired by the episode A dead kid, a notebook and a lot of maybe’s (S03x07), but the oneshot is set around season seven really. 
> 
> As always all constructive criticism is welcome but please be kind, and if you have any prompts please feel free to reach out! 
> 
> I hope you enjoy! 
> 
> Rose

Jay held his cup of steaming coffee as he rushed up the stairs towards the bullpen. He wasn’t usually late, but for some reason his alarm hadn’t rung this morning, and he was now standing under Trudy Platt’s unwavering glare. 

“Uh... Hey Sarge.” Jay awkwardly waved balancing the cup in one hand and his phone in the other.

“You’re late chuckles. Everyone is already upstairs.” Jay took that as a sign to leave and quickly raced up the steps. When he finally entered the Bullpen he could see there was already information on the board, only Adam was covering most of his view. 

“Nice of you to join us Halstead.” Voight drawled, raising an eyebrow. Jay felt himself blush slightly at his teammates smirks, 

“Sorry Sarge.” Hailey, who must have taken pity on him, began to update the team, 

“This is William Jacobs. Junior in High School, from Canaryville. His body was found dumped by the river this morning. Cause of death was blunt force trauma, probably with a bat.” Jay stared at the yearbook picture of the teenage boy, tuning out slightly from what Hailey was saying. He was white and had brown hair, his skin was littered with freckles, and his honey colored eyes made you want to lose yourself in a trance. 

“Wait so why are we taking this case? No offense but we don’t usually go after regular homicides.” Adam asked, and while it sounded kinda douchey he had a point. There was a reason they were an elite task force. 

“Because of this,” Kim’s face was grim as she stuck another picture onto the board, “This is Leo Thompson. Found three days ago. Age 20, also from Canaryville. Cause of death is the same as Jacobs, blunt force trauma.” Jay had to blink twice as he stared at the image, the 28 year old was once again white, and had freckles and brunette hair. His eyes however were a striking green. 

“Do we have any leads?” Atwater asked 

“No, homicide couldn’t find anything in their lives that suggested a beef with him. He’d just recently gotten married, and had a kid on the way. There was no indication of any affairs, or financial discrepancies.” Kim said shaking her head, 

“So basically homicide had nothing.” Adam sighed, 

“Then we start at the beginning. Atwater, and Rojas I want you to go back to both crime scenes. Look for cameras, possible witnesses, etc.” The partners nodded and rushed out of the bullpen, “Upton and Halstead I need you to find a possible link between our two victims. I want to know why he chose them. Ruzek and Burgess I want you to look into Thompson’s past, maybe something came to bite him in the ass.” 

The Sergeant watched as the last of his detectives left before he grabbed the keys to his truck. He had the family of a dead 17-year-old to talk to. 

—— — 

The house was small, painted white with a blue door, and even from his car he could hear the wails of a woman inside. Hank took a deep breath and knocked on the flimsy door. 

“Mrs. Jacobs? I’m Sergeant Hank Voight, I need you to open the door” It took a few minutes but finally a pale middle-aged woman opened up the door, “Mrs. Jacobs?” He asked 

“That’s me.” She sighed deeply and there was a quiver to her voice as she asked, “What can I help you with Sergeant?” 

“I need to ask you a few more questions regarding your son.” The woman nodded her eyes vacant from grief, and Hank stepped inside. It took about half an hour for him to be satisfied with the questioning, and all he got out of it was that William was a normal high schooler. He went to school, played video games, part of the basketball team. Hell, he even tutored in his free time! 

“Mrs. Jacobs, did you notice a shift in your son’s behavior recently?” The woman looked at Hank with eyes filled to the brim with tears, 

“No! I- not recently- I just- I thought it was just high school stuff. You know how kids get-“ she let out a choked sob, “He’d become quieter, quicker to anger, but I thought that was just a normal teenage phase I-“ The woman broke down in front of the Sergeant, and the man decided he’d gotten enough from her for the moment. 

“Okay ma’am I do believe that’s more than enough for now. Just one more question; around what time did this behavior start?” 

“Uh, about a year ago I guess. I’m not sure though I-“ The woman looked heartbroken, and Hank lightly patted her shoulder. 

“I’ll come back if I need anything else ma’am.” 

——— 

“Okay what have we got?!” Hank snapped striding into the office, 

“No witnesses, and we only found one camera at one of the scenes however we don’t have a clear image. So far we know he is male, caucasian, and around 5’10.” Rojas said, looking frustrated that they couldn’t get anything else, “He knew where the cameras were, Sarge.” 

“Okay so maybe he cased the street, go back and see if you can find anything. Go at least six months back!” 

“We found no strong link between them aside from the fact that they were from the same neighborhood. That being said they lived too far away from each other to have known each other most likely.” Jay nodded in agreement at his partners words, 

“Ruzek! Burgess! Tell me you have something.” 

Adam shook his head grimly, “Sorry Sarge. Nothing in Thompson’s life showed any potential or connection to that of Williams’. He was a good student, part of the football team in high school. No gang affiliations, never arrested or suspected. Hell, he even tutored kids in his free-time!” Hank froze at Ruzek’s last words. 

“He tutored?” It was small, probably insignificant, but it could be a connection, and it was worth a shot, “Did you get the name of the family he tutored for?” 

Kim nodded, a confused expression on her face, “The Blakes” There it was! 

“William’s mother told me he was tutoring too, said the school counselor had heard a man was looking for someone to tutor his kids and recommended William.” No one had noticed how one of the detectives got paler with every word that came out of that Sargent’s mouth. 

“And how many kids does this family have. Our two victims are eleven years apart, they weren’t even in the same high school, let alone there at the same time.” Rojas said, suspicion oozing from her tone, 

“They had the same counselor though! Samuel Wellington.” A certain detective’s hands began to shake, as Adam printed a picture of a man in his 50s. He was bald, fat, and had a bushy white mustache on top of his lip. 

“Did any of you get the name of the father?” Hailey asked, hope seeping into her voice while dread built up in the stomach of another detective. It was just a coincidence.

“Jeffrey Blake” Bile rose up his throat, 

“Here he is! 47 years old, two charges, a restraining order from his ex-wife, from Canaryville, and wait for it! Surprise, surprise, no kids.” His stomach flipped, his head pounded, the dread and pain of memories that had been suppressed for years rising up to the surface. 

“So what the hell was going on here?” Kevin said posting the picture of the man who haunted his nightmares on the board, “Gang member? Drug operation?”

“No.” He shook his head frantically, whispering under his breath, “This can’t be happening.” Jay stumbled backward, and the team turned around to look at him. 

“Jay, you good man?” Adam asked, worry heavy in his tone. 

“No- I- He-“ the detective grabbed his coat and sprinted out the district, not listening to the cries of his team that followed. He had to get away. He’d worked so hard to forget, to move on, to ignore it, it couldn’t come out now. Not after so many years, not after he’d promised himself to never remember. 

He didn’t realize where he was driving to until he stopped. It looked the same as it had all those years ago, the blue roof, white walls. The olive tree in the backyard, simple front porch and the slide in the front yard. It was a quiet street, full of people who asked little to no questions and just marched forward with their lives. Jay wished he could march forward. He gripped at the steering wheel, fear coursing through his body as the light to the living room turned on. His knuckles turned white on the steering wheel and Jay could feel his shoulders shake. 

He wondered how long it would take them to figure out there had been a third victim. He wondered how long it would be before they realized that he’d tutored as a kid. That his counselor was Samuel Wellington. He wondered why he killed them. Had they wanted to talk, reach out to the police. Did they know about him? How he was the first. How it was his cowardice that doomed them, that made them victims to the same hell he had endured. 

He was a monster. More of a monster than the man who started this torture. 

He saw his Sergeant pull up beside him in his own SUV, and looked at his watch, two hours. Well, that had been fast. The passenger door opened, and the older man got into the car. 

“How’d you link me to him?” He asked, his voice monotone and scratchy from his silent tears and panic. 

“The counselor. We picked him up, he fessed up to everything.” The Sergeant spoke softly, pity dripping through his voice, 

“He did it for money.” It wasn’t even a question, he knew he’d been basically sold, he’d known for a while. He just didn’t know about the other two. Maybe if he had... no he couldn’t go down that road. That would never lead anywhere.

“Does Will know?” Hank asked, even though he suspected the answer, 

“No, I couldn’t bring myself to tell him. Even ten years after the fact, I can’t bring myself to tell him.” 

“Jay. I need you to listen very carefully, because what I’m about to tell you has to sink in. None of this is your fault-“ 

Jay cut him off, “I should’ve told someone. I’m a policeman for fucks sake!” He should have been brave, told someone, anyone. Instead he fled. He fled the state, and even the country. He’s a policeman. A monster. A fake. A failure. A monster. He should've been braver. 

“Jay, he sexually abused you!” At Hanks straight forward words Jay flinched, his jaw snapping closed so quickly the sound reverberated through the car, “Jay, look at me.” The detective just looked out the window, trying to keep the tears at bay, “Look at me, Jay!” The blue eyes of the detective turned slowly to look at his Sargent. They were once again filled with tears, and his look of defeat broke Hank’s heart, 

“Jay, you are not weak, you are not a monster, this is not your fault. It is theirs, and they’re going away for a really long time. You’re not any less of a man, you’re not any less of the good, honest, kind hearted detective I know because this was done to you. Those sick bastards are the monsters, and Jay, they are going away for a long, long time.” Jay’s shoulders shook with suppressed sobs, but he wouldn’t let the tears fall. Not in front of his boss.

“Jay-“ Hank started,

“Do you have him?” Jay’s voice was strained with tears but monotone. Years of suppressing the trauma resurfacing before Hank’s eyes. “ Kev and Vanessa arrested him at the supermarket two blocks down, and the case is going to be all over the news.” The only relief Hank sensed was some color returning to Jay’s hands. 

“Will is at the station.You should tell your brother, before he finds out from outside sources.”

The Detective sighed and the storm brewed into a hurricane of tears behind his eyelids, “Yeah you- you’re right. I- I’ll see you at the station?” 

“No way you’re driving in this state, Jay. Trudy is gonna come pick up your truck with a patrol later, you’re driving with me. C’mon.” 

As they drove back to the district Jay’s mind was in a thousand different places, he wanted to scream and laugh and cry all at the same time. He was more terrified than he had ever been, and yet somewhere beneath all that inner turmoil Voight's words had brought him some relief. A small piece of him, even just a millimeter in size understood that no, he was not a monster. He was a strong, grown man, and anyone who said any differently could go fuck themselves. His father included.

**Author's Note:**

> Comments make my day!


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